30 November 1998: Title

Monday, 30 November 1998:

A Bundle of Whining

So, another month comes to a close. A month much like any other. I suppose.

Didn't do a whole lot yesterday. Cleaned my bathtub (woo-hoo! Surely an event worthy of perpetual preservation on the Internet), watched a whole bunch of football (though "watched" may be too strong a word), kept reading Lois McMaster Bujold's Brothers in Arms (which I'm just not really getting into).

It was really very warm yesterday. We set records over the weekend, with temperatures over 60. Last night I had all my windows open and my fan on, amazingly enough. But it was also cloudy and dark and dreary and I stayed at home all day Sunday.

In the evening, John stopped by to pick up some stuff he'd lent me and some other stuff that I collected to give him (like an issue of The Onion). The conversation at one point touched on (and rebounded off of) my "relationship issues", which - as you know if you've been reading for a while - basically consist of the fact that I'd like to be in one, I'm not, and there doesn't seem to be much chance that that's going to change in the foreseeable future. Of the few women I do meet, it seems like there are few that I'd seriously consider dating, and most of those seem not to be single.

To his credit, John is not very judgmental about these things. And fortunately, I am less down about all this these days then I was, say, a year ago. But I am still down about it.

And it doesn't help that the last time I was interested enough in someone to act on it out of the blue that I got knocked for a loop - and experience I'm certainly not eager to repeat.

I guess I've said this stuff four or five times already since I started this journal, but sometimes I want to go through it again. Which I guess is my privilege, this being my Web site and all.

Not a lot happened today, either. Started a new work week, and got a lot of small things done. Started my Christmas shopping. Watched last night's episode of The X-Files, about which I must say that the spin the commercials during yesterday's footballs games put on it was way more interesting than what the episode turned out to be about. ("Does Mulder have a secret life?" That would be interesting. But no, it was dumber than that.)

Also watched last night's episode of The Practice, where I came to the conclusion that pretty much every major character on the show is obnoxious or repellant or whiny. In fact, the judges are just about the most interesting characters; I'd watch a show about some of them. But I don't think I'll keep watching this show much longer.

Went to Michael's Frozen Custard with Karen tonight. We talked quite a bit about grad school and the decisions she's working through as she finishes her Ph.D. I think I'm glad I'm not in her shoes; I don't think a Ph.D. was for me.

I'm feeling quite drained lately. Tired, sleepy, unmotivated, kind of lonely. Maybe I'm just missing doing my regular bicycling. I wish winter would get here already, so it would go away.

Michael Rawdon (Contact)