Mesmerized
It's always pretty spectacular when another on-line journaller has what I call a "car wreck" - when their life suddenly gets (euphemistically) interesting in a way that is loud and often destructive. It's the dark side to journalling: As with fiction, it's most interesting when there's conflict, stress, and/or trauma The rest of us voyeurs stand by and watch as the car wreck happens, and then go off to comment urbanely on it to anyone who will listen.
I've been reading Kim Rollins' journal off-and-on for a few months. At times, her writing has been arresting and witty, and at other times it's just long. It had been a few weeks since I'd caught up on her writing, until I saw Dorothy Rothschild's latest entry in which she details what seemingly happened: Kim apparently ran into an old would-be flame of hers, went down to visit him for a week or two, and when she got back she decided she wanted to be with him, so she unceremoniously dumped her fiancee and boyfriend-of-nine-years and left. (Dorothy also points out a link to a preserved copy of Kim's final entry.)
Since her journal was on her boyfriend (Wil)'s server, it's been removed, and he's started a journal of his own to help him deal with what happened.
I'm no saint when it comes to relationships, certainly, but this whole situation is compelling to me because I find Kim's actions to be pretty much as despicable as they come. Seemingly her only defense is that she found something she thought she really wanted, that pointed out the flaws in her current relationship, and she went for it. But she also seems to have been outright lying to Wil for several weeks, and it sounds like she basically came home and said, "I found someone else. Seeya." Unless there's some major component to the story that we're missing, I don't see how anyone less than a seriously damaged human being can do something like this to someone else.
(You might ask what right have I to judge her? Well, because the story is right there on the net, that's what right. I'm no Christian; my sins have diddly squat to do with hers.)
It sounds like Wil is really suffering, and my heart goes out to him. I've been somewhere close to where he is, and I've felt many of the things he describes feeling.
And, I admit it, I am a rather vindictive person when it comes to things like this: My sense of justice hopes that Kim eventually finds that what goes around comes around, and that she gets a big helping of what Wil's going through.
The dark side of journalling: This is part of why we read, but no one should read stuff like this.
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