16 October 1997: I'm Very Tired

Thursday, 16 October 1997:

I'm Very Tired

What a week. Things just continued to get worse at work, although I think I reached a point where I was so frustrated and angry that I was unable to even perceive the problem clearly, and certainly was not making any headway on my work. Every little thing that came up simply was One More Thing I had to deal with, when I was basically incapable of dealing with anything.

So today I sat down again with my boss (he was out yesterday) and we talked about things, and worked on a plan to get my going again on my project. This does make me feel somewhat better (it sure couldn't make it much worse; I very nearly called in sick today because I couldn't face going to work), and hopefully I will start making progress again tomorrow.

Without a doubt, this has been the most trying period I've yet experienced at work.

All of this has left me with relatively little journaling energy. At the end of the day, I just want to lie down and recuperate, and typing it in here just dredges up the nasty feelings again and sets my blood to boiling, which I really want to avoid. So you're definitely getting a watered-down version of events - mainly to save my own sanity.

For some reason, last night I decided to go downtown to socialize with the SF3 folks. This actually went better than I might have expected, given that I was generally feeling surly and withdrawn. (Like any good introvert, I am not given to emotional expressiveness, and under great stress those emotions can erupt at random intervals in unusual ways. This is not generally conducive to social interaction.) I don't think I embarrassed myself unduly.

One thing that did some up is the annual Hallowe'en party that a couple of local fans throw. I have this mania about my clothing; I typically wear very drab, but comfortable, clothes, and I resist mightily wearing anything else. So I hate suits, I hate slacks, and I don't 'do' costumes. I haven't dressed up for Hallowe'en since I was about 12 years old. Moreover, I actually find it uncomfortable to talk to people who are wearing costumes; I always shy away from any costumed person at an SF convention (especially if they're in Star Trek garb, which I think looks ludicrous).

So, since costumes are required for this party, I will not be attending. The other folks in the group are aware of my feelings in this area, but I think they find it a very strange attitude. Which I suppose it is, but hey, dressing up as ghosts and ghouls is normal? I don't think so!

Notable comic books picked up this week:

Destiny: A Chronicle of Deaths Foretold #2 continues to present awful artwork by Kent Williams in the framing sequence, albeit with a decent story and additional artwork by Scott Hampton. It's going to need a really big finish to be a success, because I really have no idea where this is going.
Clan Destine vs. X-Men is a paperback reprint of a series by writer/artist Alan Davis about a family consisting of an immortal, invulnerable father and his various superhuman progeny. It features a compelling backstory and a set of interesting personalities. Unfortunately, Davis seeming gave up on the series after about issue #8, and many of the tastier mysteries are never resolved. So this is definitely an unfinished work, but a worthy one nonetheless.

Michael Rawdon (Contact)